Socializing is paramount to increasing your chances at attracting a partner. The more socially active you are, the more people you meet, the more chance you have of making a romantic connection with someone. For one thing, it is a numbers game: the more exposure you have in the your community, the more interactions you have. But more importantly, for attracting a partner, showing a strong social friend structure and being active with those group(s) projects an image of confidence, respect and admiration.

When you are single, what does your social calendar look like? What types of activities are you pursuing? Varying both the types of activities and the social circles you run in play a key role in your exposure to women you may be attracted to or have a connection with.

Dating Sites

The most commonly perceived solution to trying to find someone to date is by joining a dating website or multiple sites. These entities tote stats claiming half of all relationships now start on dating websites. This may be true but what kind of relationships? I have used dating websites and I have concluded they are a huge waste of time. For starters, you have to get a total stranger to agree to meet you. It makes everyone uncomfortable. For those who able to arrange a meeting with someone from a website, the first thing both parties do is compare the pictures and profiles of the other. Rarely do these match up to what was presented so the meeting begins with some disappointment. Then there are the scammers. Dating sites are full of them. There are so many added fake profiles added daily that the sites cannot keep up with filtering the false from the real. And to top it off, to use the features of the site that actually help you communicate or meet people, you have to get out your credit card.

A Better Alternative

As we “settle in” in our 30s, 40s and 50s, our social structure can become stagnate. We are running with the same inner circle with little variance. These longer term friendships are vital to our well being and should not be replaced, but rather, added upon. Joining meetup groups is a great source for finding like-minded friends and those who enjoy similar activities. There are also usually single groups within the online meetup groups. These types of groups are far more social than any online dating site. Instead of relying on online interactions, you are meeting people face to face. The most popular group is It’s free and easy to use. If you decide to join a meetup group, go to a few meetups and get to know the people. If you enjoy the activities, become a organizer so you can host your own events.

Sounds easy enough if you’re an extrovert right? But if you lean introverted or shy, the idea of going to a meetup with a bunch of strangers can sound intimidating. But there are lots of different groups, some of which might fit the more introverted personalities. Things like a game night or going to a show or reading. If you still can’t muster the nerve to go it alone, have a friend join you. Remember, extroverted or introverted, these are just normal people like you who are trying to get “out there.” I belong to six such groups and not once have I felt anything but welcomed.

Whether you find a partner or not through these methods is actually irrelevant. The point is to hone your social skills and confidence for your own self-worth. Everyone has something to share with society. Part of that is our work ethic but the more important part is who we are to others. When we let our own light shine, we give that to our friends. And when this is observed by a potential mate, it is seen as very attractive.

Once in a dating relationship, do not abandon your base. Stick with the groups to which you belong and feel a connection. Including your partner will show you as a reliable friend and desirable as a socially active member of society.